The good news is people aren’t very rude too often, Brown noted, but it’s important to know that even a one-off decision to bring an extra person or neglect to reply to a waitlist text can be stressful for hosts.

“Just understanding that we’re people at work  … hospitality is something that we love and take a lot of pride in, and just understanding that we are people, too,” Murphy said.

“When someone is genuinely interested, or kind or understanding … it opens up that realm and allows us to connect with you on a level,” Murphy added.

When dealing with rude guests, Murphy said he always reminds himself that he doesn’t know what is going on in that person’s life or if they traveled far to get to their dinner reservation. 

“And that’s why they come off as terse or rude, and so that’s how we handle those situations,” he said, “there’s just empathy and grace and understanding that people have lives and we don’t really know what’s going on with people.”

So, as restaurant staff do their best to see the humanity in people, diners should do the same by respecting rules, being polite, communicating any changes and remembering that hosts are people at a job, just like you and me. 

This article originally appeared on HuffPost.